My friends, regardless of whether we are extremely close or not, all know a few keys facts about me:
1. I do not like bugs.
2. I was a rather interesting child. My younger years consisted of me eating my lipgloss (it tasted like cupcakes, COME ON), dressing up like Disney Princesses on a daily basis, and spending hours upon hours sitting in my closet sending my sister Morse code messages while she was sitting across the room in her closet (usually playing with her rock collection, which little did she know I had a predilection for chewing on. Special shout-out to my dentist Dr. Greenberg.)
3. I have been known to cry at historical monuments. Both because I love history and because I have a lot of feeeeeeeeeelings.
4. I LOVE food.
This last point is probably rather obvious seeing as you are currently reading a blog about me basically coping with my unemployment problems by eating. But being unemployed and loving food just don’t go together. Being unemployed means having no money, and having no money means not being able to enjoy food the ways that you’re used to. Which is why I’ve come up with a short list of tips for how the unemployed food lover can still enjoy food on a practically non-existent budget.
1. You don’t always have to eat the food to enjoy it.
Just looking at food can be fun too! I like to hit up local farmers markets and apple orchards. The food is always fresh and colorful around this time of year. And you don’t have to pay, which is the BEST part.
2. Swallow Your Pride.
If you love food, like really, really love food, you will do anything you can to get your hands on it, even if it borders on sad and pathetic. You will check your pride at the door and you will pay for your cheap but delicious New York City pizza with nickels and dimes. And yes, you will get death stares from the employees working there, but you will ignore them and make all your friends get their pizza to-go so the man behind the counter doesn’t throw tomato sauce at you.
3. Volunteer/Do favors for your friends.
If there was one thing I learned from my undergraduate schooling, it was how to get food for free. I’m talking stealing from the dining hall, going to events for free food, and getting in touch with relatives you haven’t spoken to in years and dropping the hint that a little care package could go a long way. Volunteering at organizations and events are great ways to get free food. Offering to do favors for your friends who are also poor (but not as poor as you) in return for a meal is the perfect way to help your friends and also get those pumpkin pancakes with cinnamon yogurt on top you love so much.
4. Sometimes you just gotta splurge.
Just do it. Spend the $6.50 on an overpriced cupcake of Oscar the Grouch because it has enough icing on it to last you through your next (mostlikelybutpleasegodno) 4 weeks of unemployment, and also because it will make you happy. And that’s really what’s most important.